Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Still You Said Forever....

I'm over him. I am happily dating "M"... who I love in ways I never imagined possible. Yet, it still hurts to hear that he brought the new girl home to meet his family. The girl that he chose over me. Am I crazy to care? Is it wrong to hope that they don't like her? Is it bad that I secretly gloat that my aunt described her as "ditzy, annoying and 'so ugly that my backside could make her a Sunday face'?

I hope not.... because I do care, I do hope they don't like her, and I am gloating that he gave up someone as wonderful and amazing as me for someone less. Trust me, I am not wanting to go back down that road. I'd rather die that give up "M" or what we share....

But it still hurts. But not like before. Instead of that ripping, searing pain that was so much it choked the life out of me - it's now just a brief flash of discomfort. Kinda of like when you hear an old sad song on the radio. For a few moments, the lyrics and melody make you sad. And then as quickly as the song ends, so do those feelings.

That's where I am at..... and that's progress.