Saturday, July 22, 2006

Raw Grief

My Granny has always said trouble comes in 3's. I used to scoff at her saying....until last night. 24 hours ago my world was peaceful, I was happy. The only sign of trouble was the fact that my mother was hospitalized for a slight case of pneumonia....but the doctors said she was healing, so I wasn't too worried.

All of that changed with just two phone calls. The first was from Aunt Gail to tell me that Jamie's father had gone missing - it had been hours since he had been seen. The second was from Jessica telling me that a cherished high school friend had been killed. Early this morning, then phone rang yet again to confirm my fears - Jamie's father had passed away.

Now, as I sit here typing, tears streaming down my face .... I feel raw inside. As though every ounce of happiness and joy has been stripped from me. I want to grieve for my friend, a life ended to soon. Yet, I find myself suppressing the emotions, attempting to "be strong" for the sake of Jamie and his family, as they handle their own loss. As I attempt to imagine what I would feel if I lost my father, my heart breaks for Jamie....for the pain I know he feels. And for the fact that I this is one situation that I can't fix, one time when I have no solution to offer....

And since it comes at a point, when I truly need his strength to lean on......I am left empty, broken, and raw.

Pray for me, for Jamie and his family, and for my friend's family. I know there's a light on otherside of this darkness....pray we have the strength to stay the course until we find it.


By the Sea said...

I'm so sorry.