Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Following the lead of others

So Kim D. got this idea from Maria's journal....and now I'm copying from her. Although I haven't undergone any "Huge" life changing events in the past year (i.e. getting married or graduating from law school) I have learned a few important lessons.

1. Absence may make the heart grow fonder....but it also means you have to work harder. Long-distance relationships are hard...REALLY HARD. Good communication is crucial - this means saying exactly what you mean not expecting the other person to pick up on the nuisances. Unlike face-to-face communication, you are unable to read a person's body language and expressions. 9 times out of 10 the other person will not interpret your statement the way it was intended....and that leads to trouble...FAST. To make this type of relationship to work, you have to be willing to give sometimes more that you get, learn the difference between being lonely and being alone, handle longs periods of separation.

2. Sometimes walking away is the only option. There are those people, places and things that will constantly drag you down. You find yourself striving to improve the situation but nothing ever changes. Realize that the definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing but expecting different results. Whether it is a bad job, a bad relationship, whatever, you need to know that sometime the problem is to simply walk away.

3. Having a "Go to Hell Fund" is a very very wise idea. When I informed my father that I was leaving my paying job at the Foundation for the non-paying internship he queried "How do you expect to pay your bills?". I calmly explained about my "Go to Hell Fund". Dr. A - one of my grad school professors - advocated for me to start one of these about 2 years ago. As she saw it, having one meant whether the job went to "hell" or you decide to tell your boss where to'd have the flexibility and freedom to move on. She was right!

4. You can't make everyone happy. Just make sure you are happy with yourself. Old Abe was right "You can make some of the people happy all of the time, and all of the people happy some of the time. But you can't make all the people happy all of the time." It's okay to solicit opinions of trusted friends and family, in the end you have to live with your choices. Do those things that make you happy.

5. Don't always stop to analyze the situation, just enjoy the moment. When your college roommate calls you up and ask about a roadtrip to Miami, forgo worrying about your dwindling savings account, get in the car and drive. When your boyfriend asks you to catch a flight down for a visit just 3 hours before departure, pack your bags and go. As cliche as it sounds, life is short. Nobody is promised tomorrow. There is no sense in wasting time on what-ifs, maybe's, and the like - every now and then jump in without looking. I promise you'll survive the fall.

6. Laugh long and often. Love with all your heart. And live each day to the fullest.. Enough said.